Tag Archives: Choice

Live With No Regrets

Live with no regrets

Live for you

Live for love and

Live with hope

 

Don’t chase the dreams of others

If your dream is to enjoy a night on the couch, chase that dream

Find fulfillment in what you do

Not in what others say you should

 

Love like there is no tomorrow

For there may be no tomorrow

Hope like there’s a chance

Because there is always a chance

 

If you love someone

Let them know

Because our days are numbered

And someday you will have to let go

 

Be the best you that you can be

Don’t be anyone but you

If you don’t truly know you,

Take the time to find you

 

Then enjoy you

Because you are amazing &

You are beautiful &

You are wonderfully made

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Freedom?

You use religion as an excuse

A crutch

To pedal your hate

Your hate is from no god

Hate is pure evil

From the depths of darkness

Your pain, whatever internal conflict that troubles you

Is no reason to give pain to others.

I pray that you would find light

I pray that you would know peace, true peace

Hate will only fuel your darkness

Light will quench your darkness

Light will set you free

From the prison of ignorance

I believe in freedom of speech

Freedom of religion

Freedom of choice

Obviously with every choice you have to be willing to live with the consequences

Freedom is often misunderstood

Freedom is not the right to do anything

It is the right to make your choices

Freedom is accepting the responsibility of choice

If you consciously choose to oppress others

To cause pain, grief, discomfort or death

You are not living in freedom

You are opposing the very thing that freedom is

Peace, love & harmony my friends

May the light find you, may your days be filled with joy

The Choice

As you embark down the road of life, the direction you are sent down might not be the way you would have chosen to go. Sometimes you are a long way down that road before you really realize that it wasn’t the road for you. At that point you are faced with a choice, neither is wrong, it is just a choice.

You either accept the journey you are on and make the best of it, or you scale the mountains to get to the road on the other side. The road on the other side may well be much more fulfilling and life giving, but to get there requires huge sacrifice. If you have to call on others to join you in that sacrifice, you may find that it is a sacrifice that you are not comfortable making.

So where does that leave you? On the original journey, looking for chocolate chip cookie sized moments of ecstasy to carry you through the mundane trudgery that is the road you were sent down, but did not chose. This road is ok, but it does not satisfy or stimulate.

People will tell you to learn to be happy, to find satisfaction and contentment in what you have. They don’t understand, because even though their road looks just like your road, their road is the right road for them.

So you survive, verily you survive, you make the best of it, for certainly it could be unimaginably worse. Even if life is not as I would design it, I am blessed beyond measure, my present is secure & my future is certain, walking as a child of God.

 

And then sometimes you want to say f^#k it all, what the f#$k, is it even worth it? As yet another moron bombards you with a clusterf!#k of a moment that makes you question why humans even exist. Why do I have to wipe the a$$ of every moron I come across? Really? Why? I am so sick of this sh!#.

 

As you catch yourself, screaming & yelling like a mad man, because the dog wouldn’t listen or because the person on the road in front of you does not realize that you want to speed while they dither. You begin to wonder, what happened? How did you return to the very place you have already escaped from?

 

It comes back to the choice, annoyingly the choice is not a one-time thing, it’s not even a once a day thing, it’s an all the time thing. You make the choice on how you will view things, you make the choice of what to be conscious about.

 

The aftermath of the choice will be evident in your reactions to the little things. The stupid crap that presses your buttons, the stupid crap that drives you insane. Unfortunately, even if you make the choice to view things in a better way, to be calm and peaceful.

 

Unless you are naturally wired that way, there will be times, days, weeks, when you fail. Sometimes you will not want to react better, sometimes you will feel the need just to let it all out.

 

Is that ok? I don’t know, I don’t make the rules, I just know that I don’t want to be the screaming madman anymore, I don’t want to be dissatisfied with what is in sum total is really a great life, I just want to feel the things I should feel & not feel stuck in a whirlpool of ever vanishing time & energy. Feeling repressed, fearing being depressed, like a rudderless ship floating in the ocean.

 

Then after you have written hundreds of words expressing your frustration, you are reminded, once again that you are unavoidably not alone, even if you are silly enough to forget that regularly. Then the effort, what feels like godforsaken effort, which is in fact god given effort, starts to make sense again, somewhat. So like a wheel, you keep on turning, because you just never know what is around the corner & if you take the time to look up, the view here isn’t all that bad either.

 

Happy Fathers Day

They say that over 60% of your identity comes from your father

Which leave the fatherless generation in quite the quandary

What if your father is not there, or no good?

Where does that leave your identity?

 

A bad father skews your image of God

A bad father will leave you believing lies about yourself for years to come

If you were taught wrong, turn from that

Choose to remember the good

Focus on what was done, not what was wrong

Now it is your turn, now you are the Dad

 

Responsibility – it is central to being a good Dad

Taking care of your family

Breathing life, truth & teaching into your children

You won’t be perfect, nobody is

You will mess up, you will miss things

But if the love is there, and the effort

Your child will know it, even if it takes a while to realize it

 

Grow truthful confidence in your kids, not arrogance, not lies

When your child asks life’s key questions

About her worth & value, if she is noticed,

You want her to know the answer, the truth, not a hells lie.

Build a home, not just a building

 

Home, it is acceptance, safety, love, a place to belong, a family.

It is never too late to make a change, or to get help

In the land of broken homes, be brave enough to be different,

Build a home, a family.

Send a healthy child out into the world.

Your story isn’t over

Happy Father’s Day

 

 

 

A big thank you to my Dad

Who always loved me & always did the best he could

Despite what life threw our way. Love you Dad!!

 

 

 

 

Casino

 

I do not like the casino

Something deep inside me is repulsed by it

I don’t know if it is the stale smoke

The desperate souls blindly giving their money

In the hope that today is their lucky day

 

It could be that I can do math & understand odds.

Maybe it is the putrid décor

That looks like Christmas and voodoo had a baby that threw up everywhere

Possibly it is the supposedly stimulating noises

That make me want to run wild with a sledge hammer

 

I imagine it is a combination of all these things

Yet through all that

I bet I wind up in there by the end of the week

You know, just to see if is MY lucky day

Lord help me

 

 

Written on day 2, other than passing through to get to the other side I stayed out of it all week. Note that I have no moral objection to gambling, if that is your thing and you’re not an addict, have fun, it’s just not my thing, I’d rather but a video game or some new music.

 

 

 

Regrets

What would have happened?

Where would we be?

What if I had said something?

What if I had done something?

 

Could a marriage have been saved?

Could an education have been gained?

Could dreams have been fulfilled?

Could the same people be completely different?

 

The mind wanders in the wilderness

Alternative realities captivate

Would’ve been, should’ve been, could’ve been

Hopeless fantasies caught in the past

 

The past can consume you, burn you up like chaff in the fire

Right here,

right now,

reality,

the present

Make the most of it, live it to the full

Before it passes you by and joins the long list of potential regrets.

 

 

The day started with a test

Home at last, sat in my nice recliner with some Sicilian style lemonade and my laptop, I just returned from a taste of a world that will hopefully always be foreign to me.

Today I joined some friends from my men’s group to help out at Solomon’s Porch, a homeless outreach operated by The Lord’s Hands & Hearts Ministries.  The folks that run it have incredible hearts, their dedication to help the homeless is truly admirable.  This is the 2nd time I’ve gone there to help out, the 1st time was a significant perspective fixer for me & looking back was probably the beginning of this awakening that I am experiencing.

For me the day started out with a test. Last night I recall thinking to myself in my tiredness that it would be kind of nice if nobody showed up at church to car pool, that way I could just go back home & have a lazy day. Well sure enough, I’m sat in our church parking lot at 7:30 this morning & nobody shows up. Leaving me with a decision to make, at the time I didn’t recall my thoughts from the night before, I made the right call & decided to head on down to south Dallas alone.  Fortunately for me there were several guys who went directly to the place so I at least knew some people, I’m sure I would have been fine alone too.

I think I passed the test, I got to prove that what I say I believe is actually important to me. There is a line in Batman that comes to mind for me frequently at the moment. “It’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you”. Today I did a good thing & that pleases me.

Why did I do a good thing though? It’s about getting outside of my comfort zone & seeing what God will do with that. I don’t like going to rough neighborhoods, I don’t like being near people that frankly stink, many are strung out on drugs & some are just flat out scary. Truth be told I don’t want to go & help out at a homeless place, I don’t want to, however He wants me to & so I went.

This should be where I tell a tale about what significant & meaningful things I did while I was there. That’s not the way it works though, at least not for me, not at this stage. I served coffee while breakfast was going on & then I served tea at lunch. I held brief conversations with a few of the homeless people, you can add them to the list of folks I have a hard time holding a conversation with, along with kids & old people. I don’t know why that is, maybe it’s just that I’m concerned about coming across as insensitive, I mean what do you talk to a homeless person about?

Maybe that is my place though, quietly helping out, not everyone can be a preacher a worship leader or a healer or something that in my earthly mind comes across as more significant. Maybe my job will only ever be to hold one corner of the stretcher, get it to the roof, make a hole & help get people to Jesus. Just to help, just to be a spoke in the wheel. If that’s my place, that’s ok, it may seem insignificant on the surface, but in the grand scheme of things it is highly significant, if you don’t have enough spokes the wheel doesn’t work.

It breaks my heart to see folks like I saw today. For many of these people, this is their life, they will probably never live in a house again, probably never work. Yet in all their pain & suffering, you still get to see moments of happiness, a warm cup of coffee means a lot more to someone who slept under a bridge than it does to me. Although they expect the place to be there every week to meet some of their needs, you can still sense the genuine appreciation for what is done there.

One fun thing of note. One of my friends who was there today is a successful businessman, now if I have a hard time holding a conversation, this guy is the polar opposite, I’m not sure he has ever met a stranger. So I sat with him for a while & just listened to him talking to this guy, a guy who should not be on the street, a guy who one way or another is going to get his life back together (you can just tell). It was a cool conversation to watch, even better knowing that if this homeless guy calls him this coming week like my friend asked him to, there is a good chance he’ll have a job & a fresh start soon.

The 1st time we both went to Solomon’s Porch he wound up hiring 2 guys, you’re not supposed to give your phone number out but he doesn’t care. It’s great to see someone in a position to really help actually reach out & help. His hope is that he helps a few of the people that are easiest to help & they in turn will help some of the people in greater need of help, people who need to see someone make a go of it so that they can trust the help. It’s tough for a lot of people on the streets to trust a complete stranger like that. Just ask the guy who was telling me that all white people are the devils because they put the heroin on the streets. I’m pretty sure he knew I am white, I got his point too, but I really wasn’t sure how to respond.

All in all, I did a good thing today, for no reason other than to do a good thing. I don’t think that working with the homeless is necessarily a great passion for me per say, but I will go back and do it again because it is a good thing to do & I like that.

Spare a thought & a prayer for those who were not able to drive home after lunch. Who are not sat in their recliner but walking around looking for a dry place to sleep tonight, it’s not a good thing they get to do, it is an unimaginable existence, an existence that if you really think about it makes complaining on the trivial things in life a lot more difficult. If I helped to make it even slightly better for a few of them, albeit briefly, then today was a day well lived.

Matthew 25:35-40

35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or naked and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the king will answer them, ‘I tell you the truth, just as you did it for one of the least of these brothers or sisters of mine, you did it for me.’