I am not what you would call a reader, or at least not what I would call a reader. So much so, that there is an entire section of my blog that was dedicated to encouraging myself to read. For a while I was writing reviews for the books I had assigned myself to read.

Alas, much like the rest of my efforts here recently, that lapsed. In fact for much of last year I hardly read anything (excluding the internet). Then whilst playing Iron Banner last fall (a monthly PvP event in the video game Destiny), someone on one of the other teams had a name related to some book I had never heard of, but apparently half my fire team had. They talked briefly about what great books they were & then we moved on.

Fast forward to my vacation to Europe last thanksgiving & I thought it would be good to have a book to read. I remembered the name of the book, I think I had made a note of it. So I bought Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson. Actually I bought the whole trilogy, because why half do something right?

Other than a little Elmore Leonard, I have not read a great deal of fiction in my adult life, most of my getting into reading efforts centered around spiritual things or at least self help deals. I really didn’t know what to expect or if I would stick with it, but I thought it was worth a try. The last time I got into a fiction series was when my wife, before we were even engaged mentioned the Anne Rice vampire series. I started to read them just to have something to talk to her about & relate with. I remember enjoying them, but I also remember them dragging on at times.

So as I started Mistborn, I had no expectations, I had never read a fantasy type book and wasn’t sure what to expect or if I would even finish it.

I am not going to go through the plot of the books, the twists & turns, how the author manages to hook you in, only to break your heart & then somehow make it all alright, or even better than it was moments before. Or how he develops characters that despite being in a fantasy universe are still very believable, likable & relatable, as flawed as they are heroic.

What I will tell you is that not only did I finish the first book, I read the entire trilogy & then I read the 2nd trilogy. I love these books, in a way that I never expected to, in a way I cannot really explain; it’s like when you find that one guitarist that just stirs your soul with every solo, or that singer that breaks your heart with every note, the one that just fits you perfectly. I absolutely love the universe Sanderson has created, the magic system, the personalities, the whole thing, I totally love it.

Now I am in a very new & quite frankly rather annoying position, a position that actual readers I am sure can relate to. I have finished the books, all 6 of them. I know he is working on some more & apparently there is an e-book prequel that I need to hunt down, but I am finished, there are no more. This annoys me, because I truly love these books. My wife suggested I find some other books in the same genre to read, which while a valid suggestion, is simply not what I want. I want this universe, I want Vin & Elend, Wax & Wayne, I want allomancy & feruchemy (although maybe not hemalurgy, because that’s just gross). I want more dang it and there isn’t any, at least not yet.

So instead I am writing on my blog, because for the first time in my life I get to complain that I have caught up with a book series.



Live With No Regrets

Live with no regrets

Live for you

Live for love and

Live with hope


Don’t chase the dreams of others

If your dream is to enjoy a night on the couch, chase that dream

Find fulfillment in what you do

Not in what others say you should


Love like there is no tomorrow

For there may be no tomorrow

Hope like there’s a chance

Because there is always a chance


If you love someone

Let them know

Because our days are numbered

And someday you will have to let go


Be the best you that you can be

Don’t be anyone but you

If you don’t truly know you,

Take the time to find you


Then enjoy you

Because you are amazing &

You are beautiful &

You are wonderfully made


What If?

What if, we the people decided to be the change?

What if, we the people declared we would be the hope?

What if, we the people decided that we are better together, regardless of race, nationality, ancestral origin, political, philosophical and theological differences?

What if, we the people decided respect and cooperation were better than hate and divide?

What if, we the people,  instead of following the example of our so called leaders, demand that they lead by our example?

What if?

Ghost Fragment: Bentley

I stumbled across this piece of fan fiction I wrote, an origin story of sorts for my character in Destiny (the video game). I think I had ideas to try & turn it into some kind of audio performance at one point. However at this point it has sat untouched & unread for over a year now, so I figured I would go ahead and post it as it is. Hope you enjoy:

Ghost fragment Bentley:


The guardian Bentley

I had no memories when my ghost first revived me, just outside the Cosmodrome in old Russia. It was strange, a frightening and very confusing time. How was it possible that I was alive? At first, I didn’t even know my name, my name! How can you be a guardian if you do not even know your name?
I suppose, on the surface a name is simply a word, a label, yet to me, a guardian’s identity is written in his name, his legend, his legacy, will always be tied to his name.

My ghost suggested I take a name of my choosing, any name, one that I liked. Initially this seemed like a good idea, after all, this new life was a new beginning, why not take a new name. That is what all the guardians were told to do. You were not expected, maybe not supposed to have memories of your first life.

It was not long however, shortly after our first encounter with a hive wizard, that the dreams started. I thought them at first to be nightmares, side effects of these blood stained encounters, broken, scattered images, flashes. Initially at least, it made no sense, as these were not things I had seen, maybe it was just an active imagination, a newly reborn imagination.

It became apparent to me though that there was more to them than that. The images, visions, they became clearer, more cohesive. It was no longer just when I slept, it was any time I chose to channel it. These were, memories, like a voice from the past calling out through the dark of death, shattered fragments of a forgotten corpse, they key to finding out my name.

Every day, every step of my new journey seemed to unveil more of the past. I will not go into details of my journey to and through the Black Garden here, which has been well chronicled in the tower along with the legends of you, my fellow guardians. What I intend to give you is some advice, maybe a warning, something that is paramount you keep in mind if you are to stay in the light.
I was a scholar, a student, a fledgling warlock. I was not ready for combat, but after the moon, Mare Imbrium, after what Crota did …. my father, he was a great warlock, of the Praxic order, he was there, he … he perished there … so I … I had no choice, I had to enter the fray. There were 3 of us, back then it was always 3, you were assigned to each other, you became family or you perished in futility. My brother and sister, a Titan and a Hunter, we all fell together. It was an ambush, maybe a set up, it was like they knew … knew that we were coming.

It was a simple, normal mission, fly in, recon, grab an item for research and get back out. It was routine, at least that’s what they told us, they were both on their first mission, me, oh I had done this before, at least, well… twice. My mentor had great faith in me, she said I was special, that if I were patient I could be someone in the tower one day, like my father, maybe even greater than he was, the vanguard would guide me. After the initial wave, after my father, she was sent to the moon too, she perished with the rest, and we were sent out. Sent too soon.

We were not even 400 meters from our jump ship when they attacked, we were surrounded, they had no interest in anything other than death. No questions, no words, simply death, we took a couple of them with us, but the Fallen had us surrounded, it was over as quickly as it started. We had no ghosts then, death was final, eternal, well almost.

This is not a happy story, a pretty tale for cool evenings. The memories they haunted me, tortured me as they continued to return and became more vivid. Once we were able to, I had my ghost return to the place of our falling, he located them too. Once I was assigned extra ghosts, I knew exactly who I would instruct them to find. It’s the memories you see, they are not just nightmares, they help you remember, help you to impact this new wave of guardians, this wave that will conquer the darkness, we will restore the Traveler. My brother, the Titan, he has been fine, I assume because he does not really think, maybe that’s an Awoken trait, although I suspect it is more a Titan thing, not to think. My sister, even though an exo, she is sensitive, it is much more difficult for her, she has to move slowly, it, well, that is her story ….

What was I talking about anyway, the point to this monologue? Oh yes, a name, your name, my name. I am so much more now than I was previously, you could get drunk on the power if you were to lose control. That’s it, control, you must have control, without control you are no guardian. Power can consume you, fool you into believing you are some kind of god, something bigger than yourself, it is then that you become the most vulnerable to the darkness, it is then, that you will be consumed. You must bathe in the light, cleanse yourself, especially if you are to visit the memories, to learn the secrets of true guardian mastery. Maybe that’s where Toland went wrong, or maybe he was a man out of his time, I don’t know & I’m digressing again.

You must discover your name guardian, whether it be from the past or your name today, if you are to become legend, you must have a name to tie to your legacy. It was after I saw the demise of the hive god Crota, that I remembered by name, finally, painfully. There were six of us, five of the greatest guardians you will ever see and me, somehow, me. No longer the murdered scholar, no longer the fledgling kinder-guardian, for I too have become legend. I have mastered death, it will not conquer me again, yet I am no god, here me, I know who I am, I am Bentley & the enemies of the light will beg me for mercy


You will find what you focus on Focus on the negative 

You will find the bad

Focus on the positive 

You will find the good 
Sometimes you have to step back

Be honest with yourself 

What are you looking for?
It takes a conscious decision 

To focus on the good

But it is worth it for your life 

In marriage, friendship, work & play
Focus on the positive 

And your world will seem a better place

Trust me 🙂

I Believe

Some days life tries to make you quit

Just give up

Jump in the river

And slowly drown in hopelessness

I will not quit

I will not change or bow down

I will hold on to who I am

I believe in hope

I believe in miracles

I believe in love

I believe that relationships are worth a million times more than things

I believe in the redemptive & transformative power of Jesus Christ

I believe in heaven even though I really don’t know what it is or why

I believe that believing in something better is better for one’s soul than believing in nothing

No matter what life brings

Including especially what it has been bringing recently

I will believe