Monthly Archives: June 2013

Reminders and Discipline

There comes a time on ones journey to improve, that you need a little reminded that you are on the journey. I had such a moment last week, while getting to spend an enjoyable week with a family member who happens to be a non-Christian. As you know, my view on that is that we each make our own choices & while I will let you know about my beliefs I will never force them on you. The thing was, I found myself subconsciously repressing some of my normal behaviors, presumably to not make our guest uncomfortable. We usually pray before our evening meal, as a family, not doing this is really no big deal, but it is a nice reminder & ritual that we have as a family. Cutting this out & a few other things, by the end of the week seemed to have knocked me off course. I was more argumentative than normal with my wife & just, well, a little more like I was before I began this journey.

The goal of being better is rather ambiguous, what exactly am I trying to achieve? Not really some great transformation, more refinement, consistency & of course using my brain more often. How do you make things like speaking nicely to people or having a conscious thought pattern not an effort? How do you make these things your normal practice, your habits? Primarily, I believe, it takes practice & discipline, the discipline to keep practicing, practice, not just enough so you can do it, but so much that you can’t not do it.

Discipline (especially self-discipline) unfortunately is not one of my strong suits, it never has been. I am better with it now than I was, but I forget, I get busy with life & forget that I was trying to do things differently. Now, you need to understand that when I am referring to discipline, I am not referring to punishment, but to a “training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character”, as Webster’s puts it.

This is where reminders come in. The best place for me to practice these things is at work, there are several reasons for this, not least because it is a professional environment & so I should be acting that way anyway (even if I am the only one). It is also the place where I have struggled the most with consistency in my behavior, with letting my light shine, for allowing the true me to be known etc. If I can get this down at work, then transferring it to the rest of my life, where it is pretty much the norm now anyway, should be easy.

For most of this year I have had my Matrix cross as my desktop background at work. It was extremely uncomfortable initially, but dealing with that has been very mentally beneficial. It has served as a nice reminder of my faith & to keep me in the right mindset at my desk. Unfortunately the problem with visual reminders is that after a while you get used to them & for me at least, they lose their effectiveness.

So I have come up with a new background. Something to help remind me to shine my light, to be a reflective light in the darkness, to wear the armor of God & to help me remember what I am aiming to be as a man of God.

It works for me, maybe it will work for you, if not, maybe it will give you something to think about regardless.

Destiny Desktop

These are some previous posts that will explain where the imagery comes from & its meaning in my journey.


The armor of God:

The Moon:

The Matrix:


My Everything – the video

When I was recording this song I had always planned to try & make a video for it. I don’t know about kids today, but when I was a lad it wasn’t a song if there wasn’t a video for it 😉

Originally I thought I would video myself recording the song & make one of those lo-fi studio videos that I always loved. There were 2 problems with that though, 1 I forgot to video myself for most of it & 2, when singing a song about your wife it doesn’t make that much sense to make a video of just you. So what we have is a few ideas from the initial concept morphing into a slide show remembering some of the many wonderful times over the past 11+ years. It’s not great, but hey, I there is only so much you can do with free windows software & a complete lack of knowledge on film making. That may be my next area of study if I ever get the music recording thing down (slow progress is being made behind the scenes there). As Ive said before, the important thing is to try, you will never try & succeed if you are not willing to try & risk failure.


A Summer Evening

Dragon flies buzz the
Warm summer air
Patrolling in squadrons
Overhead of the tables
Filled with picnicking families
The orchestra strikes up
A wonderful familiar symphony
Peace and relaxation
Are joined by comfort and happiness
As fog is pumped in
The trees make a target
For dancing lasers
Projecting fantasy
The roar of the fireworks
A cosmic boom
To stimulate the senses
Not many better ways
To spend a summer evening
I declare





Therapy – Just not enough

Therapy; talking it through

Good advice, a nice chat

Positive thinking

Moving on


Nice ideas, yet ultimately flawed

There is only one path to true healing

There is only one way to true change

Nothing, but the blood of Jesus


Kingdom principles, applied to the matrix

Effective guidelines, but

Ridiculously underused, like a Ferrari doing 20mph

The Holy Spirit is who you seek


Spirit without measure, Spirit of truth

Counselor, helper, teacher, the great gift,

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control;

The connection point to the Father & the Son


Ask & you shall receive

Seek & you shall find

Knock & the door will be opened

He is there for you, He is waiting, for you to be ready


His grace is just as much for you, as it is for me





Chasing Time


Of all the things I would like to do

Write in greater depth

Think thoughts that require stationary patience

Write music that does not sound hurried

Read in a way that stays in the memory

Not just a fleeting moment in time

That vanishes just as swiftly as it was beautiful

All these things that I would like to do

They make me feel like I am

Chasing time

Chasing time to try to make time

For things that are more meaningful

Than the distractions that fill the time

That could be used for meaning

Instead of chasing that very same time